A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the point where the pathways meet. They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared that he had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"

 A WEAKER ARGUMENT

So there was this engineer who was tragically hit by a bus and killed instantly. He had lead a good life, but for some reason he found himself, rather than at the pearly gates, in the Other Place. Not one to complain, he shrugged and submitted himself to the tortures and other indignities common in Hell.
Soon after he arrived, there was a problem with one of the many furnaces--the engineer was happy to help out (he volunteered--wanted the challenge) and before long it was up and running again. This brought him to the attention of one of the senior demons that then had him working all over Hell fixing the torture devices, working out the kinks in the plumbing system, installing digital controls to the flame throwers . . . you name it.
Pretty soon word reached Satan that Hell had a great new addition to the team. The engineer then got taken under the Boss' wing (so to speak) as he planned and oversaw the creation of a giant new computer network. Pretty soon, word of all these improvements reached Heaven.
God was pretty upset about all this, and he had St. Peter look into the details (it had been a computer error--the engineer had been destined for one of the mid levels of Heaven). So God called Satan up and told him he wanted the engineer back.
"Nothing doing," said Satan, "You sent him down here, and we're keeping him!"
"What?" sputtered God, "You get him up here right now! That's a direct Order!"
"Listen pal, I don't take orders from you any more. Remember that 'rule in hell' agreement?"
God was beside himself. "If you don't send that engineer up here right now, I'll . . . I'll sue you!"
"Oh, sure!" Satan shot back gleefully. "Where are you going to get a lawyer?"